


Derek's departure

by orphan_account



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Brotherly Love, Episode: s04e12 Smoke & Mirrors, Family, Fluff, Gen, Hurt, No Slash, Not A Fix-It, Out of Character, gen - Freeform, injuries, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-19
Updated: 2017-05-19
Packaged: 2018-11-02 14:35:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10946538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: The True Alpha's packmates don't all come back from the Iglesia unscathed. A different ending for the final episode of season 4 and an extended version of Derek's farewell to Scott.





	Derek's departure

"Derek, please, hang on! Please, please please please hang on! You're gonna be fine, okay? We're gonna… we're gonna help you. Please… please just hang on… Open your eyes, please! Derek, can you hear me? DEREK!"

The panicked rambling tore through the mist of darkness that shrouded Derek's mind and brought him back to the painful reality. All he could feel was agony - and _cold_ \- and his brain wasn't functional enough to understand what the words were supposed to mean. He recognized his name, but apart from that… Oh, yes, the one speaking was obviously worried and distraught, but he couldn't fathom why. The white-hot pain was making it hard to breathe and Derek was more gasping than anything else. His starved lungs weren't receiving enough oxygen, and the red fog that veiled his vision turned black once more.

"Oh no Derek, NO! Don't do this to me! Open your eyes! Don't pass out again, please! You have to stay awake! Do you understand me?! You have to stay awake!"

The person speaking was shaking him by the shoulders now. Couldn't they stop it? It really hurt like _hell_. He groaned faintly.

"Derek?!"

That… sounded like Scott. But why would Scott sound so afraid? Had something happened to someone? … Had something happened to _him_? Was he wounded? Hmm, that would explain why he was hurting so badly. But it was no big deal, really. He would heal soon, right? He was a werewolf after all. Maybe he should try to calm Scott down, tell him it was alright.

Derek slowly cracked his eyelids open, and was greeted by Scott's anxious - and rather blurry - face, which immediately began to beam, lit by a wide grin. The young Alpha let out an _immensely_ relieved sigh.

"Oh, thanks God. Are you alright dude?"

Alright? Apart from the excruciating pain? Well… Derek supposed he was, even though he couldn't be certain since his body wasn't responsive enough to allow him to assess his condition. He raised a shaky hand - it was nothing, he was probably shivering from the cold; it must be winter - and tried to pat Scott's shoulder. That's what he was supposed to do, comfort the younger ones. That was his job.

His hand fell limply on the ground - since _when_ lift a hand demanded so much strength? - and he realized that a hot and sticky liquid had formed a puddle next to him. The smell was faint but impossible to miss - it smelled like iron. And the liquid was dark red, just like…

Blood?

There was a puddle of blood next to him?

And he was in pain, and Scott was panicking?

Oh hell. What the _heck_ was happening here?

And then it hit him. The memories rushed back.

" _Shi_ … AH!"

He must had cried out loud because Scott instantly seized his hand and held it tight, his veins swelling and turning black as he took Derek's pain. Derek tried to get away, tried to make him stop - _I'm the one supposed to protect you, not the other way around! You are hurting yourself!_ \- but he was so spent that he only managed to struggle weakly for a couple of seconds before he slumped back against the wall that was holding him upright.

"Don't fight me, Derek, please. I'm only trying to help and you're hurt _really really_ bad. But don't worry, we're going to heal you, okay? We're going to take you to the hospital, or… or something, and you'll be fine."

Again Scott's pleading, frightened little voice. Relief washed over Derek with a force that almost made him black out again. Scott was there, the others had saved him after all. Scott was alright. That meant Derek could rest now.

"No, no, no, no, don't close your eyes again! What are you doing? Don't go to sleep again!"

To _sleep_. Derek grinned inwardly - he was too weak to do it outside anyway. Scott had an interesting choice of words - meaning he refused to see the obvious. Derek was _dying_ , he knew it because he remembered what had happened now. Being stabbed three times by a Berserker wasn't something one could heal from. No human could survive this and he wasn't a werewolf anymore. Besides, Lydia had already predicted his death…

But he couldn't say that to Scott. He couldn't just let go and cease to fight for life without an explanation, nor could he bring himself to provide one. So he would have to fake it, to pretend he was trying to remain alive. He was good at pretending. People never noticed. No one ever did.

He forced himself to remain conscious, and once again his weary eyes met Scott's panicked ones. _Heck_ , the boy must really care about him to react like this. But why? Why on earth someone like Scott would care for him? After all he had done? He knew for a long time that he and Scott were friends, but he still didn't understand how it was possible. But it wasn't the right time to wonder about it. Derek managed a shaky smile and opened his mouth, only to be cut off immediately by the young wolf.

"Don't speak, save your energy okay? Everything is fine. Everyone is fine. I'm fine, Braeden is fine, Kira is fine, Stiles is fine, Malia is fine, Liam is fine and Chris and Parrish are both fine too… Peter… huh… Peter and I fought and I knocked him down, and he's unconscious but he's mostly okay. Chris shoot Kate but it was in the arm so she should be alright - not that she deserve it, the _bitch_ \- and the Calaveras just put her in one of their trucks, and now they are going to fetch Peter. See? You don't have to worry, everything's getting sorted out. You… you just focus on breathing. In and out, remember? In and out."

Oh gosh, Scott was _totally_ rambling by now. That was so endearing. Laura used to do the same when she was worried. Derek laughed quietly between his gasps - _shit_ , that _hurt_ \- and squeezed Scott's hand back - Scott still hadn't let go by now? - unconcerned by his friend's comments about Peter and Kate. Why should he give a damn about those two anyway?

"… 'M glad y-you're… o-okay."

Ew, was that really his voice? That sounded more like a broken, barely audible whisper. But it didn't seem to bother Scott.

"Thanks, I'll tell you the whole story once we're home. Sounds good, right? I warn you, it's a rather long one, so I need you to be healed to hear it. I don't want you to fall asleep in the middle of it."

Aw, that was so admirable, the way Scott always tried to appear strong when people needed him. But denying the truth wouldn't help. Still, Derek liked how his younger friend made his survival sound so easy, so certain. He didn't really want to die - not that much anyway - so it was nice to listen Scott's monologue.

"Was… w-worried 'bout you. Thought… they w-wouldn't… find… you and… Kira."

Gasp.

Argh, speaking required so much oxygen. It was horrible. He had always taken air for granted - apparently he was wrong.

"Well, they found us, alright? So it's got to be a happy end. That's why you have to hang on until a doc arrives. The Calaveras called one of their own, and they're okay to fix you - since we fought together and all…"

Scott's voice was calmer now, almost soothing. It was a nice feeling. The pain wasn't so bad anymore. But then Scott stopped taking it away for a second, and the agony rushed back, crushing Derek and squeezing the air out of his lungs.

He screamed.

It was more in surprise than in pain, admittedly - not that it didn't hurt: it _did_ \- but he screamed nevertheless.

It was a _loud_ scream, one that leaves the throat sore and the voice hoarse afterward. And Scott grabbed his hand again, which instantly numbed the pain and made it bearable. But Derek would have none of it.

"D-don't! … Y-you could… k-kill… yourself… you… idiot…"

His voice lacked strength, okay, but it didn't lack authority and Scott ceased altogether, even though he stubbornly refused to release Derek's hand. He kept talking while Derek focused on keeping the darkness at bay and forgetting the pain. He had still so much things to say, he just couldn't leave like this!

"Don't center on the pain, okay? Listen to my voice, just listen to me. The doc is on his way, we're going to get you out of here. We're going to go back to Beacon Hills. And Stiles's dad will be able to properly punish him, just like I'm sure he promised to do. And you'll be able to laugh silently in the background - we all know how much you love making fun of Stiles, even though you won't admit it since you're supposed to be the big bad wolf who never has fun. Even if you aren't a wolf anymore. It doesn't matter, you… Oh, and you'll have to call Cora, because we have a lot of things to tell her and…"

But then, Derek stopped listening as he felt a gush of energy wash through him. He knew what it meant. He had seen it before. Feeling suddenly stronger when you were grievously wounded meant that the end was near. He hadn't much time left, only a couple of minutes. Now they had to say farewell.

"Scott."

Derek's whisper was steadier than before but still weak. Scott instantly quit talking, staring at his friend with wide, hopeful eyes.

"Yeah?"

"I'm dying, Scott."

"Wha… _What_?"

The True Alpha's reply was an incredulous murmur, something like a sharp intake of air twisted and transformed into a word carrying all the depths of Scott's feelings for Derek. That deep, brotherly love that everybody could feel right now even without supernatural powers. Derek sensed it too, because he smiled reassuringly and cupped his _little brother_ 's face with his hand. When had the _big bad wolf_ become such a sentimental?

"Hey, don't tell me… you aren't aware of that… Super Alpha. You can smell it."

And Scott started to shudder, and a few tears escaped his eyes and rolled down his - rather dirty - cheeks, only to be wiped by a gentle finger.

The young wolf sobbed.

"Please no… Please don't say that… please hang on…"

And Derek's heart shattered at the sight.

"Oh, Scott…"

He sighed ruefully, helpless. Incapable to stop his own death from happening. Incapable to spare his young brother from the agony of loss. That's all he was capable of doing anyway. Hurting people. He gritted his teeth and shifted slightly - damn, damn, damn it _hurt_! _-_ before pulling Scott into a loose hug. A _hug._ He of all people was hugging Scott McCall. He could see the others gaping behind the Alpha's back.

_Argh!_

Geez, what was crushing his rib-cage? Was someone trying to squeeze him to death? … Oh. Of course. It was only Scott hugging him back. Ironically enough… that felt nice. Being hugged. Even though it hurt like the blaze. Crap. Being stabbed was _terribly_ unpleasant.

Scott was still shaking and sobbing.

Wow.

When was the last time someone had broken down in his arms? Hmm… That was probably an eternity ago, when he was still living with Laura. She had sought the reassurance of his embrace a few times. She used to had nightmares, even though she'd never tell him about them. She was so strong.

Laura.

That would be so nice to see her again. And the others. He would miss Cora, sure, and Scott also, and perhaps the rest of the pack (… Braeden, Kira, Malia, Lydia, maybe even Stiles and Liam) but he had been waiting to be reunited with his family for years now.

Maybe it would be nice of him to comfort Scott? He wasn't good at being nice - he was the _big bad wolf_ after all - and he was really awkward when he tried to, but hell, he was dying. Now would be the moment to act like a real packmate instead of an ass.

… And he _wanted_ to be nice. For once. Because Scott deserved that. Because Scott was his friend, and because he was tired of hurting his friends.

He embraced the young wolf a little tighter and whispered into his ear - _nobody_ _else_ needed to hear him being all soft and brotherly.

"You're… a good Alpha. You'll become a… great one. Liam is a… lucky kid. I'm… sorry I couldn't be the teacher and friend you needed… when you were in his place."

God, he mean that. He meant that so much. Couldn't Scott just stop shaking his head like this?! This was all true, dammit!

"Stop denying it… Here, listen… I'm… I'm sorry for all the times I punched… or threatened to kill one of you. You were just so… _goddamn_ _annoying_!"

A wet little laugh, muffled by Derek's shirt. Good. Derek would have laughed too if he could. That at least no one could deny. Stiles and Scott were the WORST teenagers he had ever dealt with. Including Jackson, Ethan and Aiden - the latter two being listed among the most infuriating people in the whole world. Seriously, _who the hell_ throws a party in their enemy's loft while he's away? They had had suicidal tendencies back then or what?

Scott's murmur brought him back to reality.

"Don't apologize dude. I… I know we've been awful and all. We didn't know you at first - and you had that creepy vampire look - and you were kinda violent - and your uncle was a sociopath… Despite seeing you beaten to a bloody pulp time after time, we forgot that you could be hurt. That you had been hurt and was being hurt. Gosh, I'm so sorry!"

Oh, what a cute little speech. At least it proved one thing: Derek _was_ good at hiding it. But that wasn't so important right now.

"Hey, when did you become so good… at self-accusation? I must have been… rubbing off on you more than I thought."

Here, a silly joke. Not even a real joke, barely a jest. Just enough to keep the pain away for another couple of seconds, to keep the truth hidden a bit longer. Derek needed to keeping faking it. Not the words and the feelings, those were true. The strength. This he needed to fake. He had faked it his whole life, he had to carry on. He must look strong. Unbreakable. Invincible. Even while dying.

… Except it was becoming _quite hard_ to even remain upright, let alone strong. His grip on Scott's back was weakening. The teenage boy pulled him closer.

"It's okay, I've got you."

And Scott meant it. There was a determination, a conviction in his words. He knew his friend's time was counted but he was willing to support him even if it meant acknowledging Derek's critical state. _That_ proved he was a real Alpha. A True Alpha. It was a sign of maturity rare for one so young.

Derek smiled and sagged gratefully against Scott's chest, his eyes closing wearily. He was so _goddamn_ tired…

"Wow, what happened to the Scott McCall… I used to know? The little pup is all… grown-up?"

Ah, his voice was hoarse now and he could taste blood in his mouth. A _lot_ of blood. Sickeningly warm and iron-tasting blood. _His_ freaking blood.

"You'd better get used to _this_ Scott McCall, old man. He won't change anytime soon."

The playful bickering was laced with worry and grief on Scott's side and exhaustion and pain on Derek's. But it wasn't time to give up. Not now, not just yet. He could hold on a little longer. He still had things to say. Things that mattered.

"Old man? You're only… six or seven years younger than me… you little brat."

He had to end this stupid chat now. _Say it!_ screamed a voice in his mind. _Say it before it's too late for both of you. Say it before you go, say it because you'll never get another chance. Stop bantering like idiots!_

He took a deep breath - and groaned because deep breaths hurt - dragged his heavy eyelids open, and then pulled back, slumping against the wall once more. He stared into Scott's dark eyes with his dimmed green ones and smiled weakly - though it was the most sincere, caring and heartfelt smile he had given in a _long_ time.

"Remember… when I told you we were brothers? Back in the woods? I said that… because I had forgotten the difference between packmates and true brothers. But I promise you, Scott… I know what the difference is now. And I promise you… I mean what I'm going to say. You _are_ my brother, Scott McCall. And I'm sorry… for all the time I spent denying it."

There. That was it. He had made things clear. Now he could let go and finally rest. His body was already shutting down anyway.

"I… You're my brother too, Derek. I just want… Hey, _wait_ , you're shivering! What is it?"

What a pup. Perhaps the wolf cub wasn't a grown-up after all. … No, he was a real puppy. So awkward, clumsy and naive. And kinda cute, but that wasn't the point.

Someone handed their jacket to Scott and he wrapped it over Derek's shoulders without even looking at the person. Derek's vision was already too blurry to see who it was, but nonetheless he felt grateful and mumbled a tired 'thanks'. The jacket felt soft and nice, even though it didn't seem to warm him up, and he liked it. Perhaps it was Braeden's?

"… 'Tis nothing, Scott… 'Tis just the cold…"

"What cold, Derek? What are you talking about? It's warm here, almost hot. We're in Mexico Derek, it's almost never cold, not even at night! Why are you cold?"

Oh, so it was just him after all. He must be cold inside. That probably meant he had like… two minutes left, if he felt that frozen. Scott being in deny once again wasn't helping matters. And Derek thought the little one had accepted his death. He suddenly frowned, noticing the large red spots on Scott's skin and clothes.

"Y're… cov'red… in… blood."

"That's not my blood, Derek, I'm okay. I'm… _Shit_! Your injuries are bleeding again! Here, sorry but I need to put pressure on the wounds."

Derek hissed in pain - he hadn't the strength to scream anymore. He was drained, utterly spent, he could feel the life seeping out of his body. He was sure Scott could feel it too. And all those who had powers too, meaning Kate (oh, how she must be gloating if she wasn't unconscious), Peter (would Peter actually care?), Kira, Malia and Liam.

"Y-you tell Cora… I love her… 'kay? 'M sorry… can't tell her… m'self… sorry…"

Death felt like drowning. He hated it. He was gasping, trying desperately to breathe - he needed air, _please_! - his lungs were burning, his vision was blackening, the sounds were distorted and they seemed to come from far, far away.

"No, Derek, no! You'll tell her yourself. You'll tell her YOURSELF! The doc is on his way, remember?! He's almost here, he's going to fix you and you'll be alright! Just stay with me please! Stay awake! Stay _alive_! Derek _fucking Hale_! Listen to me! You're not supposed to die for real! You're supposed to scare the shit out of us and then come back like you always do! Is that clear? DEREK!"

But he wasn't listening anymore. He couldn't focus on the words. All was black and fading and he was drowning and sinking deeper into the darkness and he was suffocating and he couldn't even gasp now and he was all alone and…

And then a blinding white light, and the most amazing peace he had ever felt, and that feeling of being _whole_ again and not just the scarred, mutilated, diminished version of Derek Hale. And there was a path made of light lying right before him, and on that path were standing Laura and his mom. And they were both smiling and waving at him, waiting for him to leave his body behind and walk on the beautiful road.

"… M-mom… L-Laura… I…"

"Derek, they aren't here, they aren't here! Do you hear me?! They are DEAD, they CAN'T be here! NO, DON'T YOU DARE CLOSE YOUR EYES! The doctor is here, okay?! He's gonna heal you, just hold on a little longer! DEREK?!"

The last thing Derek remembered was the oxygen mask being pressed against his face. And then he knew no more.

**Author's Note:**

> Does he live? Does he die? You tell me.


End file.
